That's a new one...

"Are you preparing for Halloween, or did you just have a baby or something?"

A student asked, because my hair looks like this:

Said student is a little delayed...but still...

That's what I get for trying to change things up a little. . .   :)

I have postpartum hair

Good Points

• Our time here, our lives, are short. Now is the time to work. Now is the time to repent, to serve, to grow, and learn. Whose side are we on? Now is the time to show it

• Patience is a gateway virtue. Through mastering patience we are open to acquiring more virtues. "In your patience possess ye your souls" -Luke 21:19

• We are watched closely. Many spirits are waiting for faithful members to act (temple work). 

Just some points brought up in church today that I liked :) Happy Sunday! 

Dreams and Divorce

Disclaimer1: Steven and I are not having marital issues, in fact I love where we are in life :) (it's taken hard work and sacrifice and will continue to do so but I love it!)

Disclaimer2: I'm not talking about cases of dangerous situations, abuse, infidelity etc. 

I'm not a 'popular blogger' and I don't write well, I'm not an expert, but I have some education. This issue has been on my mind lately and I feel I need to write it down, even if only two people read it :) 

I had a disturbing dream last night, not uncommon, but this one has been gnawing at my brain. In it, my older brother was in a position at his work where he could fire people and when he did he could somehow increase his salary through it. Well, then he gets put on trial and he believes the only way to save himself is to divorce his wife and live in my parents basement (which, Kelly from The Office lived under the basement..anywho..). Then in order for my mom to not have to testify against my brother she thinks she has to divorce my dad. There were a lot of tears, and rain, and driving? Anyway, it made me think about how people often unnecessarily use divorce to solve problems. 

My major in college was in marriage and family services and although I'm not quite working in that field (special Ed is close), I still have a passion for the things I learned. The divorce and remarriage class was especially interesting. Thanks to things like 'no-fault divorce,' extreme focus on individual (and instant) satisfaction, and a decline in moral values, people treat marriage like many people buy cars- you find one you love, but after a couple years when the problems set in, or interests change, you boot the old one out the door and go in search for a 'better' one, only to find yourself in the same situation a few years later. What happened to finding a sturdy car you love, nurturing it, caring for it, carefully fixing the problems, and even when parts don't work right or it's rusty and worn, you couldn't bear the thought of getting rid of it because you two have been through so much and you love it? 

It's called serial monogamy and it's an increasing disease in our society. This idea that as soon as we are slightly dissatisfied with a situation in marriage it's time for divorce, it didn't work this time, but next time will be better. Well, next time will be just like the first time if you don't change the way you view marriage. It makes me sad. 

Steven's parents just celebrated 41 years of trials, challenges, hardships, growth, peace and joy (marriage!) I'm sure it wasn't always easy, but they worked at it. My parents are celebrating 30 years in November. Before they were married, as my mom was preparing to go through the Temple, the general authority told her that 'even the word 'divorce' should never even be brought up in a marriage.' Divorce is not an option!! I've seen divorce tear so many families apart lately. I strongly believe that when couples go into marriage with the mindset that it's not an option, they are so much better off. They work harder together. They love more, and forgive freely.  

It's especially hard on children. The beliefs that 'children are resilient' or 'if I'm happy they'll be happy' are common misconceptions, and just wrong. Children often don't understand and it can lead to behavior problems, substance abuse, promiscuity, and many other unnecessary emotional and physical consequences. 

Life is not easy. It takes work and effort. Many couples who are unhappy in marriage now, if they honestly work on it together, are some of the happiest couples seven years or so down the road.

Divorce is not an option! It should never, ever even be considered an option. Have I stressed that enough? 

Some, if not all, of our greatest triumphs in our marriage have come after our hardest challenges. It's how we grow closer together, and closer to our Savior. 

I'm so grateful to be a member of a church that focuses so fully on healthy marriages and families. They have free classes to help strengthen marriages, I've taken them, they're awesome! The world needs more strong men and women who are willing to stand up and fight for the sanctity of Marriage. Families are eternal. Marriages are forever. They should be treated, and valued as such.  

Divorce is not an option. 

Some good books to read on this:

"The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 year landmark study" by Julia Lewis, Judith S. Wallerstein, and Sandra Blakeslee

"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John M. Gottman

"The Family: A Proclamation to the World" from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints :)